2.15.2006

it doesn't always go without saying

In yesterday's valentine FAQ section, we were unable to answer all of the readers' questions that came pouring in from around the world. In making our selections, we thought we were covering the necessary ground--but at dinner last night, we learned just how wrong we were. So a supplement to yesterday's post, with apologies for the oversight:

Q: Do these pants make my butt look big?

A: Let's just say that you certainly look happy, sitting next to your squeeze, sipping a pretty pink drink, waiting for a delicious dinner at a nice neighborhood restaurant. You look fortunate--as though your life is not lacking in nourishment, either spiritual or vegetable. You look content. You even look like you might be intelligent, hold an interesting job perhaps. As for your butt? Honey, I can't even see your butt, as I am blinded by the glare of the lights shining on the nipple that's been unleashed from your shirt. Please put that away.

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