let me introduce you to...

Walking down Newbury Street, I pass a teenage girl wearing a t-shirt (it's as snug as a bug that's been power-sprayed on a rug, by the way) that says, "I heart Army guys." Just behind her, walking with a different band of brothers, is a guy who looks as Army as Willem Dafoe in Platoon. His shirt says, "I like boobies."

If only she'd turn around, they could really hit it off. And have a good story for their grandchildren, too.

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