3.20.2006
my selective attention deficit disorder
The headline read, "Wallace to stop being '60 Minutes' regular." I clicked on it, simultaneously disappointed to learn that I'd been missing Wallace and Gromit on TV (how long had they been on? do they report on news events? is there cheese involved?), while also pleased for the pair and their come-uppance on national network television. I clicked through three pictures of that farty old news man, Mike Wallace, in search of my toothy animated friends, before I figured out my mistake.
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3 comments:
I got two things out of this entry. One, I learned that you don't know what comeuppance means. Two, I learned that you don't know how to spell it, either. How about sticking to stories of people picking their nose, wiping their butts, etc. That seems more your speed.
^ Geez, since when did Mike Wallace start reading your blog and stop drinking his Metamucil?
Gentle readers,
I have to insist on my right to play with words. For example, I could describe someone who displays uncivilized behavior (someone who tosses around baseless personal insults, say, for example) as "whorrific." Now, technically speaking, that is a misspelling, but--and this is key, people!--it is also an example of wordplay. (Thanks, Ken! I knew that would come in handy at some point.)
Furthermore, I must insist that I am preeminently qualified to mock myself, and that I shall stick to stories to which I want to stick, and if you don't like it, you can stick it. And we shan't miss you or your school-yard insults when you leave. So there.
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